by Jesse
Parenting is a huge step, and it’s not for everyone. Unfortunately, some people become parents without planning to be.
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While some people decide to be active parents despite this, others choose to neglect the responsibilities that come with parenting.
However, some may realize the errors of their ways much later and try to amend them when their child is older. Unfortunately, not all stories like this have happy endings, as the child may not want to accommodate their absentee parent into their life.
We found one story on the AITA subreddit that paints a similar picture.OP shared that when she was 19 years old and in college, she got pregnant.
OP chose to keep the baby, the father had decided to opt out of all responsibilities regarding the child, and although he sent a mandatory child support payment, it wasn’t a lot.
Years later, when OP’s child was 16, he reached out, trying to be a part of his daughter’s life. OP then found out his wife was struggling with infertility, making her feel this was the only reason for his sudden interest in his daughter.
She explained this to her daughter, who chose not to have her father be a part of her life. This made him upset, leading OP to ask the AITA question.
Scroll down to see the verdict!
Let's dig into the details
OP explained that she got pregnant in college and was abandoned by the father. Surprisingly, years later, he reached out to OP, claiming that he wants to be in the child's life. Well, turns out he's married now and his wife is struggling with infertility
OP was strongly against him coming into their child's life, since he abandoned the baby in the first place
In addition, OP decided to speak to her daughter about what was happening. She also told her daughter about how her father had abandoned them and the reason he was coming back now. This didn't go down well with both the man and OP's mom, as they feel she has poisoned the girl's mind
Some important edits
The post went viral, garnering over 15k upvotes and almost 3k comments. Let's take a look at what the Reddit community had to say:
"NTA...You are protecting your daughter from a potentially traumatizing and harmful situation."
"Part of me wants to say E-S-H, because you did poison her views of him, but who could blame you for that?"
"Make sure your custody and support agreements are ironclad."
"Had his wife been able to conceive, I wonder if he would still be interested in pursuing a relationship with her? I feel you did the right thing."
"Your daughter is old enough to take what you have to say and form her own opinions."
"Infertility is horrible and I feel for anyone going through it BUT that doesn’t give him the right to go oh well I’ll go back to that other kid I had."
"I'm glad you were honest with your daughter, she'll appreciate it in the long run. NTA."
"This was a hard one though. If he really wanted to know her, he had 16 years to give more than the mandatory child support fees."
"She would have felt even more abandoned by him somehow and at some point and he would have hurt her more if he pretended to care about her just because his wife is infertile"
"It sounds like this couple want to make up for their own lack of children through your daughter."
"She will need to make her own decisions about her father. And if you have issues with him - you need to resolve them directly with him."
"You have zero obligation to lie and tell a softer version of your own life events to paint this dead beat in a more positive light."
The Reddit community is clearly on OP's side on this one. They believe that OP’s decision to tell her daughter the truth was the right thing to do.
According to some commenters, by doing so, OP is protecting her daughter from a potentially traumatizing relationship with her dad. Regardless, everyone agrees that this is both a sad and sensitive situation.
What are your thoughts? Do you think OP handled the situation well, or could she have handled it a little better?
